It feels like a long time since I’ve been here; in fact, I almost think I was avoiding Auckland a little bit.
The weather is beautiful and warm, such a welcome change from what’s been happening down south. Really, I’m having a very good time, and am very happy. Maybe it sounds like I’m trying to convince myself I’m happy, but no, I really am. Lots of friends have been calling and wanting to see me, and being very excited which is great; I’ve usually found Auckland pretty lonely since I moved away.
Went to a party last night which was nice, and some of us ended up back at my place for a drink. Met some cool people, but I have to say, I feel a totally different person to who I was when I lived here, and subsequently my old friends are very different to me now. I feel so much more open minded and accepting than I used to be, and also so much more confident in myself. I feel I have nothing to prove and no need to justify myself to anybody. It’s funny, probably every person in the room has their shit together more than me, but I felt like the only one who was truly myself and accepting of everything and everyone around me. I also really feel no fear about the future; I know it’s a mystery and I’m lost but I have no fear of failure because I view my life as something to be lived, not a means to an end.
Murphy’s law, there’s an inundation of girls who want to get together, but I really just don’t feel interested at all. My mind is still with somebody else, and I still feel that I belong to somebody else at the moment; it will fade I’m sure, but that makes me sad, too. Also, I’m just totally not into the girls up here, generally. I feel like I’ve been with somebody so totally different to these people; a girl who never wore make-up, never brushed her hair, scarcely showered, wore whatever she could find on the floor that day, and was unbelievably beautiful to me. We were the same, whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing! Having said that, it’s great to keep in touch as friends.
But anyway, enough about trivial things like that. A couple of friends and I are going to this thing tonight called the Odyssey Maze (http://odysseysensorymaze.co.nz/) which looks like it might be very cool. I love trippy/creepy things.
Walked in the beautiful sunshine for most of the day, found myself dancing in the street a lot which was great. Really….I’ve had a fucking good day. I think I needed one.
Listening to this allllll day, hope you enjoy!