Judge Not Today.

Around a year and a half ago, I heard Deepak Chopra for the first time. I can’t say I was ever completely taken by everything he said, but there were parts which I thought had real value. Particularly, his spiritual idea of overcoming the need to judge was something which I had not realised the importance of before.
For the last year and a half I’ve worked very hard to make the maxim “Judge Not Today” an key one in my life. Ultimately, living to this ideal isn’t easy; I know I lapse back into judgement still, but in the past few weeks I’ve tried concertedly to be totally at peace from the need to judge.

What I learned is that, as long as we judge others, we can never be at peace with ourselves, because we create a rift between ourselves and the people around us. Judging is an inherently alienating process; it forces a conflict in which our ways are inherently right and somebody else’s are inherently wrong.

I noticed a few years ago that I was becoming increasingly negative and judgemental. Very quickly, these petty judgements on the way somebody looks or dresses or speaks or thinks become important in how you value other people in comparison to yourself. If you let it, this pattern of judgement will seep into and dominate you. Towards the end of my teenage years, I realised I was increasingly becoming a person who would instantly see the worst in people, and who would be closed minded and closed off to my own silliness.

I believe we should all have a determination now to be a people of positivity, for whom each person and opportunity is accepted and considered equally, and it’s almost as though a weight has been removed off me every day. One great benefit of not judging seems to me that I don’t judge myself the same way either, which is fantastic, nor do I feel the need to justify myself or appeal to others. Maybe this is all just an elaborate philosophy to allow myself to wear whatever I want, be silly and take nothing seriously 🙂

Anyway, still enjoying my week in Auckland although the weather is a bit meh now. Caught up with a friend last night and also met a bunch of new people, including one guy who was very cool; turns out he is a huge film buff, as well as writer, and just seemed an pretty cool guy. Went dancing in town though it was really quiet, but I’m checking out this Latin club in town tonight and hoping to dance some salsa. Scary, I’ve never been by myself! I think I’ll probably be missing my dance partner quite a lot.

The Oydssey Maze I spoke about a few days ago was very cool; lots of strange rooms with exciting use of lights and dark and mirror and texture. I really enjoyed it, and it really seemed like something that would be a lot of fun do myself in the future (who knows how though). If you’re in or around Auckland then you should definitely go see it; admission was $15 for a student and we were inside for around 45 mins at least. You’ll have a good time.

You need to be inside to fully appreciate it.

Regarding emotional stuff, I believe feelings only fade if you want them too, or if you let them. I don’t think there is a general rule that being apart will make you care less; so long as you want the person to remain important in your life, you’ll find away. Probably just corroborating to myself and saying what I want to hear though.

Just listening to this right now. “Be mindful of yourself without judging yourself.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RvtDFfLFIk

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There goes the sun, do do do dooooo…

Few days since I could be bothered to write anything, so apologies to all the figments of my imagination out there who probably don’t read this.

Dunedin is staying true to from; Winter is coming. Getting greyer and colder and wetter; more excuses to drink tea (as if any is ever necessary?)

My best friend, who I’m lucky enough to live with, is going away for three weeks, starting Friday. Pretty intense shit, he’s visiting North Korea, China and Russia. Nothing more relaxing then being followed for four days by a guide with a gun to your back, right? But anyway, going to miss him.

The flat is lovely, I think I actually might love everybody in it in their own way. Compared to last year, it’s as close to heaven as I can imagine. Genuinely wanted to shoot myself by the end of 2012, but things are incredibly positive at this point.

Good.

I had a beautiful experience the other day which has been on my mind. It was getting dark, the rain was falling lightly and I felt a huge compulsion to go to the beach and watch the sunset. I sat there for maybe half and hour, hiding my shoulders under a towel as it got colder and windier and darker, fading from aquamarine to that stormy grey which must really be the most beautiful colour in the world. Letting the rain drench me was wonderful.

I had a thought, one of the more lovely one’s in my memory, that we are truly and utterly alone in the best way imaginable. We are born alone, we think alone, we die alone. Now, usually this sort of thought really brings me down…and far more often than I like to be honest; not this time. I came to the realisation that life isn’t about reaching something, and it’s not about collecting memories and experiences. Those are just things that will be lost when you’re dead, like everything. The beauty of being alive, at least in that moment was the appreciation of having the opportunity to just….be. To exist. I got the chance to exist and the best moments are those when you realise you are you.

It’s an idea I’ve been trying to refine for a while but which has always strayed towards the negative; but not this time. It just took the rain and throwing myself into the stormy ocean to wash away all the other bullshit I throw up.